Random thoughts…

I Thessalonians. I wonder at times when I think of Paul and what he expected to go through every place that he went…or at least was not fearful of if indeed it did happen. He was ready for persecution. Question #1: Am I? Question #2: Is it more important to focus on being ready for persecution or be willing and ready to lay my life as it is before a Holy God – unwilling to reason away sin; willing to only bring Him glory?

So, as for my day, I enjoying the aloha of Hawaii while visiting and serving here (what a priviledge that I don’t have known enemies or fame so that I can say that for all to see – Come and visit! :). I realize that I at times find it difficult to be outfront with my hurts, but I have no problem sharing about what I’ve learned through them. I’m much more emotional than I would like to admit at times- Usually a good cry (which really doesn’t happen often) cures me of any ill! I’m then ready for another adventure after I think about the logic of what’s really bothering me, pray about it, and realize where I’m not thinking right (where I’m in the wrong). I’m working on preparing for a possible marathon and really am sore cause the roads here are all uphill! 🙂 Tonight Mema made Peach tarts…telling you…she should’ve started a restuarant! She brings up such random thoughts, stories, memories, jokes, and wit….She doesn’t relate anything to a movie line but instead has a memory to attach to almost anything she brings up. It’s really refreshing! I am so grateful for the life I’ve been blessed to enjoy thusfar…can’t wait for the rest. My parents have said, “Life only gets better when you are serving the LORD.” I would have to agree with all my heart. I know these are random thoughts – thought you might enjoy.

2009…Looking outside.

Well, if there’s never a day worth wasting, then there will always be something to say about/learn from any day given to us, right? Believing this…I write and endeavor to continue to do so. Today is new. I’m sitting here with my Mema…I just explained it to her that I’m sending a card at one time to all my friends…Her question was, “And it will go to all of their homes?” She’s 88 and precious. I just tried to explain e-mail, “What’s e-mail?” I gave her a computer (my old one for her to learn on) for Christmas. She thought it was a jewel! Why? Because she wants to be able to.. “play old Saul (Solitaire)and whoop him!” I’m learning that there are few things that really matter in life…I’m determined to find and live them. I wonder what else God will teach me this year..this thought excites me to no end. All that He’s already done…If He designs each unique brilliant color of each sunset…what more could He teach me of Himself and all the brilliance of His character? What more could He teach me of reality in my life that will cause the true potential of each day to be realized more and more till the day I go home? Bring It On Lord!! I want to go deeper; love; be humbled by You (Lord, help me face my fear with truth); be challenged and obedient to live more selflessly, to become more like You – a much more vivid representation to a world that hurts and yet is ignorant or chooses to ignore that You are the answer to their need…I long for discipline too. I want to embrace and breathe in the freedom I was meant to know. GOD, take this blog and use it for Your glory!

Experience with Janice…

Dec. 10th, 2008 – Here I sit on an airplane stagnated on the runway. The captain has said that there is something wrong with a computer devise on the airplane and we must sit at the gate for it to be checked, but I know differently. God has sat me in front of a woman (whose name has slipped my mind – for now we’ll give her the alias of Janice) whom I met in the airport a bit earlier. Noshville Deli’s computers went out and both of us experienced the high prices and the disgruntled (understandably so) cashier/manager on duty….We laughed as she told me in southern form how that he could “keep his $3.00 hashbrowns!” Then, God sits me right in front of her. Laughing at her downhome sense of humor I begin to explain my understanding for the man since it hadn’t been his fault etc….This starts a conversation and then from there God took over.

To my surprise, this stout kind woman was a driver for prison inmates. She had met her husband there and worked there for close to 17 yrs. if my memory serves me correctly. She was headed to her mother-in-law’s funeral in Charleston and had used miles to get there to support her husband. With just the delay, she had already missed the viewing yet seemed up in her spirits. She made a comment about me using my powers to pray us in….From there I was blessed to share the gospel with her.

You know, I don’t exactly remember all that was said, but I have learned that when I am honest…and mix what He’s done in my heart specifically with the Scriptures leading the person to Jesus from a heart that sincerely cares about them (not just throwing the new at them) – It’s always real. The missing ingredient at times is fresh experience with Him…Do I love Him today? Am I enjoying His presence today? People are much more perceptive than we think, yet they are usually fighting truth less that we would expect. I’m praying for my friend even today….Our flight never got off the ground…I ended up catching another one and having to say goodbye. I hope that I’ll see her again in Heaven – you’ll love her too! ☺

What Am I Not Asking God for…First Hawaii Blog

I have a fear that I tell few about….I’m not even sure if I fully realize it, but I do know the effects of it. I want to blog badly and now I even feel that it’s a need in my life due to my heart needing bigger outlets to tell of Him…I cannot stay silent nor can I sit. BUT, I must have a fear of posting them for fear of a lack of perfection or not doing it right….I am laying down that fear as of today with the LORD’s strength. If there is even a hope that whatever I share may help someone or encourage another….how can I keep it within the small circle of where I live and what I do. Technology has extended the realm in which we must be living…wisdom would tell us to reach higher and further as He gives us the means to do so….Here I reach…if anyone is touched then it’s Jesus who gets the glory for even the stretching He’s doing in my life. I’m only sorry I haven’t been following this leading on my heart more. Why wait till the New Year to start anew? I’m still not sure I’m doing this right, but I can no longer keep the story He’s continuing and the thoughts I’m contemplating inside… I’ll begin with today….

I’m sitting here Dec. 14th at sunrise having been awoken before the dawn by the 27 mosquito meals (they itch worse than bites) that were driving me from sleep into awakened insanity. ☺ Just three days ago (Dec. 10th) I arrived to Honolulu, Hawaii to speak and sing; to serve as my 88 year old Mema’s care-taker and flight companion; and to enjoy Christmas with my parents and the others traveling in (Mom and Dad moved from Italy to HA. in Sept. 08). To say it is beautiful is a grave understatement….Enchanted Lake sits crystal still and peaceful in front of me, while the palm trees stretch all around as if they are just awaking to the morning sun. Cascading grass covered mountain ranges and volcano crators reach into the depths of the horizon while the clouds seem to rest on them like misty clothing. The islands almost wave in the distance where the ocean beckons me to come and explore. I feel like I’m Wendy on Peter Pan or something! Now for my next trick…flying!☺

Today I realize two things…1) Jesus healed and showed mercy to a man who wouldn’t stop crying out for mercy even when others told him to stop. Mark 10:46-52 Jesus listened to those who simply realized their need and cried out….those whose faith made them well. Jesus cared more about explaining to them that with God all things are possible then He did in telling them humanly impossibility of them being saved….how undeserving (in their sins) we are of God’s attention. Mark 10:24-27 His grace truly covers. 2) I can’t get enough of His Word.

My question for today….What am I not asking Him for? (What non-believer do I know that I have neglected to beg God to bring to Himself? What distracted follower of Christ (not in the Word etc.) am I not pleading with the LORD to ignite for their First Love? What vision have I not asked God’s direct and specific provision for? What healing am I needing and have not asked God in faith to, if it’s His will, heal completely? What amount of faith am I lacking to maybe exceed that mustard seed….Have I prayed, “LORD, I believe, but help me in my unbelief?” Mark 9:24 ) Why wouldn’t I ask??

How God Changed Me

I arrived on Nov. 2nd to a house I didn’t realize how much I’d miss…a sister without a car, and a new Chaplain and his family readily willing to be friends.

I cried that night… Had I put this tour together?

Then I headed out to Rome and then away to Germany.

Devotional from Psalms

Yesterday I was brought to Psalms where it
talks of things I’ve heard before yet new again
(sadly, I sometimes just run by these verses): “I will
give thanks to the LORD with my whole heart; I will
recount ALL of your wonderful deeds.” (Psa.9:1) then
before that, “I will give the LORD the thanks due to
his righteousness…” (Psa. 7:17)

Lord, the great I AM, allow us the pleasure of not
being able to ignore your glory and goodness bursting
from the seams of our day – what could be more
important than bringing them into Your presence and
enjoying them with You? Then, as you deserve, show
us what it looks like to give thanks to You with our
WHOLE hearts…allow us the gift of not being
distracted by anything but You. Fix our thoughts on
You. (Hebrews 3:1)
Fixing our thoughts on You yields returns much greater
than what accomplishment or time-efficiency ever
could. Father break us down by Your conviction and
lift us up in your grace.

Putting Down Your To-Do’s

At times if feels like life only slows down long enough to be remembered. I have a lot to learn about living life instead of letting it live for me. Driven as I am, most of my life I’ve strived to accomplish all that I could for Christ – as much as could literally be fit in a day and then some. Not because I thought that He would love me more, for nothing I do or don’t do could ever cause Him to love me less (it just effects the closeness and His ability to allow me to work alongside what He’s doing). But it seemed that when I began to get more and more serious and disciplined in doing all the “things” I thought I was designed and able to do, I found myselffeeling torn between people and accomplishment. Living with major accomplishments around my path, I was frequently somehow frustrated, and even at times inconvenienced by people – the very ones I was convincing myself I was doing things for. What if every day was not to be lived only but breathed in. If there’s truly only so much that can fit in a day, then I want to be walking towards the One I can’t see…not encumbered by the distractions of seeming accomplishment surrounding me with temptation to seek after them. They lie saying that after you finish you’ll be free to do what you want, what you long to deep down. There are times of discipline needed in order to persevere. But, may we never confuse “…perseverance (that) must finish it’s work so that we may be mature and complete not lacking anything…” (James 1) and being so focused on things on earth that our hearts aren’t set on things above (Col. 3:1) If there’s so many days in a year and years in a life, then the same 24 hour days must be filled with what really matters regardless of what we could have donewith the time instead. It’s people that Jesus died for. It’s the Ones who have trusted Him with their lives that He says we are, on earth, His physical representation to a wandering, lost, and hopeless people of activity. We are His body and He is the Head. (Ephesians) What is priority – that must come first and whatever else I can stuff in, so be it! I’m learning to live in a freedom like I’ve never known before… I’m nowhere close to gripping this fully. I want to live so in light of eternity that the days just seem like a blur cause His face is what I’m focused on. Oh, may we not miss LIFE.(John 14:6) “It is for freedom that Christ has set us free!” Gal. 5:1. HOW? Stop and listen – Stop talking long enough to be okay with silence… It’s not a waste of time to just think about what really matters without making a to-do list. Who knows, it may be a moment that He uses to direct your heart like a watercourse wherever He wants it to go! (Prov.21:1) Read what He says…even though the urgents are telling you that you can after you finish with them… ignore the seeming urgents and listen to LIFE – (Is your life is in His hands?)…He’s a much better master. (You cannot serve two Masters.)